Friday, 26 August 2011

Panic ...

I realise that it's been quite a while since I last posted, you probably all assume that I'm keeping ok, so I thought I would drop you a quick update. I've really let myself go over the past month or so and my OCD seems to be getting worse, or at least I seem to be noticing things more!

I recently graduated from university, so I suppose my life has changed quite a bit over the past few months, also I'm in limbo as to what I'm going to do next. It's probably too complicated and personal to type detail on this here, besides it will be obvious to people who know me that it's me behind this blog. All I need to share is that my decision are in limbo and I'm a bit scared. 

In terms of OCD my obsessional slowness is getting much worse, I feel physically sick if I have to wake up early and start getting ready pretty much straight away. Everything just seems like a mess, things are getting worse than they were and insomnia has also began to set in. 

I guess I'm in a bad mood so I'll write here soon.

Best Wishes 

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Finally Ready to Move On

I have good news and bad news today. I suppose I should start with the bad news first. The bad news is that I haven't really stuck to my goals, it seems that to overcome obsessional slowness you need assistance, either from a therapist of what's termed as a co-therapist, basically a friend that helps you to meet your goals by talking about progress and helping to monitor. I'm seriously considering going for the co-therapist idea. On the other hand I managed to get ready without social networking on Thursday morning, so I suppose I achieved something there. 

The good news is that I'm finally ready to move on in terms of leaving one university and starting another one. Obsessive thoughts with my lecturer meant that I didn't really want to leave university because I didn't want to leave him behind. I've pretty much got rid of the obsessive thoughts now and I'm really excited about graduation and moving to another university to do my Masters degree in September. I'm also very excited about my graduation ceremony. The graduation ceremony is in mid-afternoon so I don't have to worry about my obsessional slowness getting in the way. I'm really glad that the obsessive thoughts about my lecturer have stopped but I honestly expect a relapse when I see him at graduation, I'm aiming to stay strong though!

I feel pretty content today, so there's probably not much point in posting a huge blog entry today. No doubt I will catch up with you soon though.

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

The Goals Don't Work ...

For your information the title is based on "The Drugs Don't Work" by The Verve, this probably made more sense in my head than it does to you now. But still, the title is convenient. 

So, my new life was supposed to have started on Monday, it's now almost Wednesday and nothing has changed. I've woke up every morning and checked my social networks straight away. Today I spent a whole day in my PJs and spent pretty much all day online. Yesterday I did go out but it took me absolutely hours to get ready and this resulted in a heated argument. 

I do just feel like saying "I give up" but I'm too strong for that! I'm going to carry on and try and achieve these goals that I've set. If I manage to meet just a few of the goals for a few days running that will be a good start. 

So, I'm starting again in the morning!

Wish me luck!