The past week or so has been pretty strange, it's kind of odd when you find out that a relative who has recently passed away had a huge opinion-changing secret! That's all you need to know about that. For one, I'd possibly be giving some information away about who I actually am and secondly it's not an ideal thing to blog about.
A few weeks ago I actually hit an all time low in terms of depression ... A relapse in improvement I guess. This is partly why I haven't blogged for a while, I was hiding at first and then decided to actually sort things out. I felt particularly low about being unemployed and getting no response or a negative response from absolutely every job application that I submit. I was upset to the point where I was having obsessive thoughts about not having a job and also wanted to kill myself, or at least injure myself.
One evening a friend posted a Facebook status about being judged by someone she didn't know, she was judged because she had a degree and didn't have a top job, the reason for this being that she has a baby now and it's difficult to work around childcare at the moment. When I read the status I felt rock bottom so I commented it having a rant about not being able to get a job myself. I must have sounded sad because a friend sent me an essay-length message stating that she had been through similar things in the past, and then we got talking about all kinds of things. For once I got the chance to explain my situation to someone. Sharing experiences was great. My friend gave me the motivation to move forward and pull myself out of my low mood. I've felt rather content since.
In my last blog post I mentioned that I was looking for self-help material for improving motivation. After looking online, Google searching with "Overcoming low motivation" I had very limited success. I decided to replace low motivation with procrastination and suddenly remembered that Windy Dryden had published a self-help book called "Overcoming Procrastination". I purchased the book and I've started slowly working through it. It seems effective so far but I'll let you know how I get on.