Tuesday, 29 November 2011

A Whole New Start ...

Hello everyone. It's been some time since I last blogged here and I believe that last time I blogged it was about therapy. I've decided to take a break from therapy for a few months as I feel that CBT doesn't suite me (it doesn't suite everyone after all). Earlier on I was talking to a friend and she suggested to carry on blogging about issues that I have. I set up an account on Tumblr but it doesn't seem to be an ideal domain to host a blog about mental health issues (the majority of users are teenagers). Therefore, I've decided to continue using Blogger, but thought I'd have a new start my giving a fresh introduction to myself. I've finally made a bit more sense of my problems. So, here is the blog entry that I just posted on Tumblr: 

"I always see the first blog entry as being the most important one, it’s pretty much like the introduction to a book, you have to capture potential readers’ attention and then of course maintain the blog to keep them interested. 
I suppose I should give you a bit of background information, but I’ve tried this before on Google Blogger blogs and I tend to struggle to give background information and this put me off keeping a blog at all. Well, I’m a 22 year old female who lives in the United Kingdom, I’ve recently graduated from university with a degree in psychology and I suffer with a few psychological problems and issues. 
Towards the end of university I started to realise that I had problems that needed professional attention. I finally got an appointment with a psychologist who diagnosed me with OCD and depression. Previously I had thought that I suffered with impulse control disorder because I am heavily addicted to the internet. 
I find that people mock being addicted to the internet and some people really abuse the condition by saying “OMG I’m addicted to Facebook LOLZ” but for me it’s a serious issue sadly. I often feel as though I’m trapped, there are so many things that I want to do, yet I just sit there using the internet and don’t feel comfortable with actually doing anything else. Sometimes to the point where I feel sick and nervous if I have to go out when I don’t feel ready. This is where the OCD element comes into my problems, I suffer with something that is called obsessional slowness, which basically means that I take my time with getting ready to go anywhere or do anything, if I change my activities before I feel psychologically and physically ready to I can feel really nervous, anxious and physically sick. This has a huge impact on my life as when I feel that way I often stop communicating with others and don’t enjoy what I’m doing. I then get angry with myself for not doing things that I’m supposed to do. 
I also mentioned that I suffer with depression. I feel that my depression is largely to do with my OCD and being angry with myself for not doing things that I am supposed to do and lacking a normal daily routine. I also feel depressed because of things that have happened in the past, for example: being left out a lot as a child, fancying men who I’m not supposed to fancy, having shabby relationships and more recently not having a job. I tend to reflect negatively on these issues a lot (part of my OCD) and end up upsetting myself. 
Anyway, that’s a brief overview of my situation and it’s probably the only entry where I’ll discuss my problem as a whole. The rest of the blog entries are going to focus on day-to-day life, what I’ve been up to, what issues have come up during the day and how I deal with my problems in general. 
I hope I do get regular readers of my blog and I hope those who have problems find my contribution useful. "
Feel free to get in touch :-)

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