Monday, 11 July 2011

Spilling Time

Today I don't feel good at all, I feel almost depressed and I can't even explain why but I'm going to take a shot and just spill my heart out in the hope that it will make me feel better. To tell you the truth I feel so down due to my OCD, the notion of not being on the road to getting better, the fact that some people just upset me without even knowing so. 

As I said in my first entry, I often think with my heart instead of my head which often results in problems regarding relationships and feelings. A few years ago I took interest in one of my university lecturers and now the feelings I have just don't feel healthy yet I can't break the cycle. I email him, if he doesn't email me back I get upset and start to have obsessive thoughts that he just hates me and wants me dead. I'm just fed up of this, it's me who is in the wrong here not him. I'm the one who obsesses, it's really unfair on him for having to put up with it. 

Why can't things just be better =(

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